I’ve done it and I suspect you have too. I’ve asked myself these exasperating questions: Who am I really?Am I the person others think I am–in my family, at work, among my friends?Is my identity a product of my own design or have I just followed what others want/need/expect me to be?If there’s a gap between how others perceive me and who I know myself to be, what next?This is heavy stuff and I’m here to tell you that, for me...

Distracted? Never, you claim, always fully tuned in, just multitasking.It’s a popular self-deception. We’re all guilty to a degree.Research has long debunked the notion of multitasking, our claim of being engaged in multiple things (aided by our digital tools) at the same time.We’ve just become compulsive about requiring our brains to toggle between one thought or awareness and another. The faster we do it, the more we self...

Doing isn’t giving, although doing is required. At work we have jobs to do. The better we do them, the more likely we’ll be valued and rewarded. That’s true even if we: Dislike the tasks we’re assigned Know the job is a wrong fit Question the company’s direction Work with uncommitted people Don’t see growth opportunities It’s as possible to succeed in a sorry job as it is in a fabulous one, provided y...

Nothing beats a good streak. Things fall into place with ease. Good stuff gets done. Our confidence rises. Our skills deliver. Optimism soars. We’re on a roll. You know what they say about streaks? They’re made to be broken. Few teams win all their games and few, if any of us, win every round as our careers unfold. The first time we get knocked down, we dig deep and get back up, ready to try again. Get knocked down...

“Make it stop,” you say, ”–the noise, the confusion, the stupid mistakes, the wasted time.” When our work days amount to one distraction and miscue after another, we feel caught in an endless squeeze, desperately trying to get our work done in spite of it. If we could only find the cause and do something about it. Or if our boss would just stop contributing to or ignoring the problems. Alas, we’re left...

Learning something new gets our attention. It reminds us we have skills to build on, dormant interests ready for the light, and talents (latent or otherwise) screaming for an outlet. It you want to build self-confidence and give your career trajectory a shot in the glutes, find something unrelated to your job and learn it. Embrace the counterintuitive. We’re told at work that we need to develop our skills and e...

How you look at work is one thing. How you appear is quite another. Almost on a daily basis you can find a TV program touting the latest fashions for men and women, some programs even providing “make overs” for audience members. The problem is: new clothes, hair styles, or accessories can’t remake the way you come across to others. Looking nice isn’t the same as being nice. Your interpersonal style, the...

We know it when we feel it. When it’s in our grip, we soar. When it leaves us in the lurch, we land hard. Self-confidence, by definition, is: Being sure of your own abilities Trusting those abilities Having faith in them Feeling assured you really have them Self-confidence is in our heads. It’s the way we assess ourselves and decide if we’ve met expectations–our own and others. Every day, readers find...

It may be difficult but sticking your neck out is a necessity. To build a career, you have to: Apply for jobs and accept offers Change jobs to get better ones Develop new relationships or repair damaged ones Commit to expectations and do what’s right Putting yourself out there takes courage, and you don’t need self-confidence to do it. The odd couple Courage and self-confidence have an odd con...

It can’t be avoided but we don’t want it to last. It’s that feeling of being disconnected, conspicuous, and self-conscious whenever we’re plunked in workplace situations with people who don’t know us. It can happen when we: join a new work group participate in a cross-functional meeting attend an industry conference go to our first company party become part of a new project team The sooner we feel ac...